These days

    Yeah, one-way traffic....     THIS IS ENTIRELY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, so many people told me so. Well, I gradually get used to this kinda life..eventhough sometimes I still feel bad or guilty (?) about something none of my business. I don't have to be responsible for everyone huh? I don't know when I have this kinda problem, but I'm really afraid of loneliness now. I used to have lots of friends in the past, yet when I grew up and got more muture, I found there're too many disguised people around me. Very soon I became cynical till today. I dare even not to make friends with those people who I don't know much. I have to study a person deeply so that I can be frends with him. I always worry that maybe it's because of me that somebody loses his faith to God. Thanks to Lord, he uses words in Bible to tell me that he will personally find the lost sheep and we don't even have to worry about it otherwise meaning we don't have enough faith to God either.

    Anyway, I have to look foward and find other things and people to fill with my life. Sometimes I feel helpless, not knowing what other things and where other people are. During the weekends, there seemed to be someting lost. When I walk, eat, use computer, listen to music, do homework, watch TV, read Bible, or even sleep, I always feel something wrong lately. I try and want to figure out what I should do but didn't do. I want to know what on earth are wrong. I thought I've been well-adjusted to my new life; however, I still cannot control over my emotions sometimes. Mixed emotions are dangerous, since they may affect every single thing of my daily life. Actually I've set my self a goal, yet I cannot really focus on it so far. The only thing I could do is to put every difficulty of mine in front of Lord and ask for his healing. As what Sharri told me, time cannot heal everything, but God can. I have to keep praying and praying and praying. I have to make my own life good so that I could care about others' lives.

    Fortunately I still enjoy the courses I take here. I found I don't hate everything in school like I did before. Maybe it also counts a progress I made?

  

     Sighs, yesterday when I got home I turned on my TV and watch news as usual. I felt extremely sad because of the tsunami happened in Japan. I was sooooo shocked. How could an advanced country be destroyed in one day like that... How if that happend in Taiwan?

     My first thinking that flashed through my mind was that how many people died without knowing Jesus.....I feel bad cuz I cannot even help them. We should really be cautious, as we would never know when Jesus will come here again to judge people on the Earth. We have to think whether we're well-prepared for his coming, otherwise we would never have a chance to be with him in the Paradise in the future....

    Um... I don't know why, but I really want to go back to Kaohsiung now...